I really struggle with vacationing well. Do you know what I mean when I say that? What I mean is that some people are just natural born vacationers. When they get to their destination they just seem to release. On a deep exhale their hair unravels, a mojito falls into their hand, and they simply exist. They relax. They know exactly what they want to do and somehow find a way to do it. Or they don’t do it. Life is their oyster, or whatever that expression is. Well, I want an oyster, damnit.
We’re currently on vacation in the Outterbanks of North Carolina in a small fishing, beach, and tourist town this week. It’s one of my most favorite places in the world. Granted, I haven’t actually been to that many places in the world, but I love it. I’ve been coming here since I was a kid. But what I remember the most as a kid is that vacationing is so much easier when you are 11. Part of what I struggle with as an adult is actually growing up and realizing that life wasn’t actually better when I was a child, it’s just that I was a child. I ate Doritos that my parents paid for and crisped in the sun and salty waves all day. Well, now I can’t seem to let go. To just be. I’m always thinking that I’m wasting my precious vacationing time and should be out taking advantage of the day: spending more time at the beach, taking more naps, doing more biking, seeing more sights, playing more games, making more memories, reading more fiction, and it gets quite exhausting being so anxious about relaxing.
But I’m sure you can relate. Even now, we’ve been here less than 48 hours and I’ve already snapped at my kids and Jason more times than I’d like to admit because they just aren’t being relaxing enough. How sweet of me. Though, it is funny and hopeful for me. No vacation has ever been enough. I know that when I leave later this week that it will have not been relaxing or long enough. That there wouldn’t have been enough time enjoying my children or touching my husband (because one of my goals this week is to touch my husband as much as I can. Oh, I’m going to be romantic with 3 kids around. Don’t you worry!). I can only just stop and tell myself that this is enough. That even though we didn’t make it to the beach yet today and have only sat in the driveway eating Doritos and riding bikes, it’s enough. And it is good. That’s the kind of grace that helps me to rest and vacation well enough.